I was supposed to publish this on the 24th day after turning 24. I have many things that have changed my life in the last four years. I wanna be clear, I don’t have my life in settlement mode yet. I am hoping that I do figure things out soon and have a stable relationship with myself and my God.

Let me take you on a journey of the past four years of my life, shall we? I came to America with the hope and a dream of studying, finishing college, and getting a high-end job in a big-tech company, then after a few years or decade, I packed my life and moved back to Kenya to start my own company. That has always been the idea with a little touch of higher education like doing a master’s program and maybe getting a PhD in computer science. The reason is that I love to gain knowledge or wisdom in tech. It wasn’t about getting more money, well that would be amazing but, the plan was to have a system in Kenya that unites hospitals, schools, and banks to ensure the protection and encouragement of the future generation to study with ease of mind and have access to important amenities and resources.

Why hospitals, schools, and banks you may ask? Students from a middle-class or poor background may have trouble with school tuition and when they get sick they can’t access proper health care thus degrading the chance of them pursuing knowledge to the fullest. When a kid has no worries about the next meal, books, or medication and focuses on achieving the set of goals in school, it doesn’t have to be the number one in school, it may as well be a chef, saloon economist, or doctor. There are important life lessons they may learn in school that will help them navigate through challenges not be overburdened with stress and gather resources with much ease compared to one who was not trained in school, thus I recommend that the school curriculum should be more of life skill learning, and not mainly passing grade and becoming a worker in the society. Nothing wrong with that it’s just that the current state of the world is evolving and the olden method may have worked for a while but it’s time for a reform.

That was always the plan, always, then I landed, and boom, at 20 years old I had to start paying school fees manage my bills, and pay my debts. I understand that but I wasn’t given a grace period to settle in and find my grounding. I talked to a couple of my friends and it seemed that they had some sort of support in that settlement part. Well as for me I started paying with my first paycheck. It was an amazing feeling to get my first paycheck. I was so ecstatic. I couldn’t believe how much I made and as a naive young Kenyan in the USA, I converted the money in my head and said to myself, “This is what some make in a month, that I made in 5 days.” I was excited now that I could help my folks back at home and help my siblings at school but the joy was cut short with my personal life. If things were different and a different possibility in life happened, maybe I wouldn’t have met my mentors and gotten into all the dramas I’m in right now, maybe I would be somewhere else and who knows things would have been way worse, or even better but I can’t and should complain.

The good thing as I see it is that I never divulged into drug and drug abuse or developed an obsession with alcohol consumption. I don’t like drinking or smoking. The problem is that I didn’t finish college and well it overwhelmed me to the point that I quit school and left the work I was doing full-time. I was depressed and I couldn’t tell my parents because I feared making them more worried adding to the weight that their only son was in a country, not technically alone, but sure felt like it. Every family member I met had the same format of questions thus I developed the same format of answers that seemed to please them enough not to have follow-up questions. I don’t see the need for school as of now because I am not being supported financially by anyone. Thus my choice of not going to school should not be criticized unless you prefer to pay for it, no offense.

I got my first car in 2022 and in 2023 I had to let it go and move in with my friend just because I couldn’t support myself. For the first time, I felt support and help come my way. I got a job and soon after four months, I got promoted to manager position, which is pretty exciting. They didn’t ask for rent until I was financially capable and even when I was they made sure not to strain me. The end of 2023 and the beginning of 2024 were a rougher patch in life. Cold night waiting for the bus in the middle of winter since I had no car and long bus drives. I probably spent most of the days on the bus and work than at home. I was going insane for a bit but then a somewhat miracle happened. I got myself a car and now from a 6-hour bus ride to and from work combined with an 8-10 hour work shift, I had 12 hours of work life and 12 hours of personal life. I was able to sleep peacefully and participate in a few things other than work.

Life sucks sometimes and makes me want to just be a nihilist but then I remember there’s more to life than just not seeing no worth in life. I have become obsessed with a few genres of YouTube videos, true crime podcasts, philosophy, and interviews of successful people especially in Kenya.

That’s just an overview of the most important part of life. Now I just got ghosted for asking a girl to get home first then call me to talk. Is it that I have no rizz or what? Damn, I need to socialize out of my comfort zone. That is why this coming Friday, I’m going to a party for the first time in a year or two. There is a more in-depth analysis of my life I wanna share with you, especially my love life. I want to maybe focus on that and see how I can improve on that. Do I become a cheesy pickup-line guy casual conversationist or in-depth talker? I am yet to find out. I appreciate it if you have reached this far into the blog. Do take care and have a great rest of your time. Bye-bye for now.